We had an election two days ago, and I’ve been watching people’s reactions.
Some are celebrating. Others are worried sick. Depending on which side you’re on, you might think the future looks wonderful or that we’re headed for disaster.
I’ve been seeing some of that in our studios, too. People have some pretty strong feelings about what’s happening in our country.
And I keep thinking about an old story I’ve loved for years.
It’s about a farmer, a horse, and one little word.
Maybe.
The Farmer and His Horse
There are several versions of this old Chinese story, but here’s the way I remember it.
A farmer lived in a small village with his son. They didn’t have much, but they had a horse, and that horse was important to their livelihood.
One day, the horse ran away.
The neighbors came over to offer their sympathy.
“Oh, that’s terrible! What bad luck!”
The farmer shrugged.
“Maybe.”
A few days later, the horse returned, bringing several wild horses with it.
Now the farmer had more horses than he’d ever had before.
The neighbors were delighted.
“What wonderful luck! You’re a rich man now!”
The farmer said, “Maybe.”
Not long afterward, the farmer’s son was trying to ride one of the wild horses. He was thrown off and broke his leg.
Once again, the neighbors came calling.
“Oh, how awful! Your poor son! What terrible luck!”
The farmer replied, “Maybe.”
Then soldiers arrived in the village. There was a war going on, and they were taking every able-bodied young man they could find.
The farmer’s son couldn’t go. His leg was broken.
The neighbors came back.
“How fortunate! Your son’s broken leg saved him from going to war!”
And the farmer?
You guessed it.
“Maybe.”
I love that story.
Partly because I can picture those neighbors running back and forth, absolutely certain they know whether the farmer’s life is getting better or worse.
And partly because the farmer never seems to feel the need to explain himself.
He doesn’t argue. He doesn’t predict the future.
He just says, “Maybe.”
How Much Time Do We Spend Living in Tomorrow?
Think about how often we do exactly what those neighbors were doing.
Something happens, and we immediately decide what it means for the rest of our lives.
We get some good news, and we’re already imagining how wonderful everything is going to be.
We get some bad news, and before we know it, we’ve worked ourselves into a terrible state worrying about what might happen next.
And most of it hasn’t happened!
I’ve certainly done my share of that.
Something doesn’t go the way I expected, and my mind can come up with all sorts of things that might go wrong next. It’s pretty good at that.
Of course, it’s just as capable of getting carried away when something wonderful happens.
But how often have things turned out the way we expected?
Something that seemed like a disaster at the time eventually led to something good.
Something we were terribly excited about turned out to be a whole lot more trouble than we bargained for.
And sometimes things turn out pretty much the way we thought they would.
That’s the point.
We don’t know.
Peggy Has Her Own Version
Peggy has a saying I’ve heard her use many times.
“No expectation until it happens.”
I think that’s pretty darn close to the farmer’s “Maybe.”
It doesn’t mean we don’t make plans. Peggy and I make plans all the time.
And we change them all the time, too!
We’ve spent years experimenting with different ways of doing things, both in our personal lives and at RiversZen.
Some ideas work beautifully. Others don’t work at all. And some take us in directions we never would have thought of when we started.
We’ve learned a lot more by trying things and seeing what happens than we ever would have learned sitting around trying to predict every possible outcome.
I’ve always liked the idea of “Ready, Fire, Aim.”
Do something. See what happens. Adjust.
You don’t have to know how the whole story ends before you start living it.
Maybe Is a Superpower
The more I think about this, the more I believe learning to live with “Maybe” is a genuine superpower.
Imagine getting some disappointing news without immediately deciding your life is going to be miserable.
Or getting some wonderful news, enjoying it, but not building an entire imaginary future around it.
You can still be happy. You can still be sad, angry, excited, or disappointed.
You don’t have to stop feeling things.
And you certainly don’t have to sit around doing nothing.
If something needs fixing, fix what you can. If there’s an opportunity, explore it. If things aren’t working, try something different.
But maybe we don’t need to spend so much time worrying about things that haven’t happened.
And maybe we don’t need to be quite so certain that we know what’s coming next.
I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. And I certainly don’t believe everything always works out for the best.
Sometimes bad things happen, and they’re just bad.
Sometimes wonderful things happen, and they stay wonderful.
But I’ve lived long enough to know that life has a way of surprising us.
Just when we’re absolutely certain we know how something is going to turn out, something happens that we never saw coming.
I’ve been thinking about that farmer and his neighbors.
The neighbors were riding an emotional roller coaster. Every new development was either the best thing that could happen or the worst.
The farmer just kept living his life.
I wonder how much more enjoyable our own lives might be if we got a little better at doing that.
Something wonderful happened today?
Enjoy it!
Something terrible happened?
Deal with what you can.
And when your mind starts telling you exactly what it all means for tomorrow, perhaps there’s one little word worth remembering.
Maybe